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finally i had the time to blog. been a long time since i posted anything let alone blog hop. alex is sound asleep in our bikini bottom of a living room. let me explain.. her things are all over the place. it's not messy though. it's just that since we live in a small place, her things have taken up most of the space in our living room. hehe. i have pretty much baby-proofed the place. i read somewhere that discplining your child at this early age is more of gaining and building her trust. i try to refrain from saying "no" all the time when she tries to pick up things and puts it in her mouth. not that i let her eat them! i just find a way to distract her from what she wants to pick up and make her come to me instead. yeah, to create a distraction. somehow i've mastered it. from giving her keys to changing channels, from singing out loud to dancing like crazy. actually, they're also the things i do just to make her smile or laugh.

lately, i have to confess that i feel so stressed from taking care of my kiddo. there, i've said it. it's out. 'stressed' is actually an understatement especially if you have a kid like mine. think of a 7 month old baby who got used to being held and carried around that when you leave her for just a few seconds to, say, pee, she would come crawling to the bathroom door crying herself out as if she was being hurt and abused. we dont have a yaya right now as i have recently dismissed jing--and that's another story. anyway, i know that we are to blame alex is used to being carried around but i'd rather have her used to that than her used to self-soothing. it would feel like i'm ignoring her or something. but still, it's really physically draining! aargh. it got to the point when i can't move my left shoulder anymore and my knees are already shaking from exhaustion. overfatigue is the word, man!

do i sound like a whiner?! not that i dont wanna take care of her,of course! i just badly need a yaya to help me keep an eye on her at the same time run the house properly. i have to say this though. everytime alex smiles at me or crawl towards me or for every new thing that she has learned, i feel joy. i feel accomplished. i feel proud. and somehow the exhaustion just fades....not! hehe! well, the tired feeling is still there but you just keep on going because you know that nobody else would be more patient and more unconditional than you are for her who is so helpless and naive and innocent and little and cute and adorable and.. i can go on and on... oh for chrissake, im the mum and she is my baby... the joys and the pains of motherhood! one topic where i can rant and rave at the same time. haha! o well, 'guess as long as im a fulltime hands-on mum, i'd go on with my UP-activist chant--alex version, while kissing, hugging and tickling her at the same time.